Yesterday Fox in Flats issued a challenge to wear head to toe black. Discussing it with My Mummy Daze, I had to point out that this wasn’t much of a challenge for people living in Melbourne, much less those working in the creative industry. Indeed both of the ladies I work with were in head to toe black yesterday, while I was adding some colour with a bit of grey.
So she issued me with a more challenging challenge, to wear at least two colours everyday for a week. Ruminating for a moment, as I tend to do, I thought hell yeah – I’ll take this as an opportunity to add some colour to my grey days at the moment. I wonder if there is any research out there about surrounding yourself with colour when you are depressed?
So Andrea, with only a little bit more ado I present Ms Optimism in Living Colour – Day 1. This counts as an Op Shop Style File since I’m wearing a few new/old acquisitions. So, have I peaked too early…..?
Homemade necklace made from an odd earring from the op shop, 50c. There's navy in there!! That's not black.
Green Armani Exchange butterfly top, $3 op shop (potentially 6 or more seasons old), Coral Ojay singlet from outlet $9
The finished product
So it’s no secret that I’m a hippy, and also a lover of all things vintage. Thus you can understand my internal struggle when it comes to Ikea. I hate Ikea, the air miles, the made in china, the (I guess) chemicals in the glues that hold the MDF together.
But, I LOVE Ikea. Love it. I love that there is a free creche. I love that there is a coffee break half way through. I love the colour co-ordinated books that make bookshelves look neat. I love the little pretend houses that are fake, but look so lived in and lovely.
So Saturday just gone I invented the sudden and urgent need for a magnetic board. We must go to Ikea! There’s always lots of things we need from Ikea.
Very dear friends of ours have just had their first child, and I had the great idea (which I totally stole from Mrs. Savage) to frame some vintage book pages for their nursery. And so I present my tutorial on how to justify a shopping spree and make your own gorgeous gift (because you couldn’t have worked it out on your own……..?).
Step 1: Op shopping spree!
It’s also no secret that I’m an op shopping addict. It’s like guilt free retail therapy, it’s cheap and it’s recycled. I found this gorgeous vintage book for 50c. The fact that it had a page missing made it easier for me to not feel to guilty about chopping it up…
Gorgeous vintage book
Gorgeous vintage book all chopped up
Step 2: Ikea shopping spree!
For gorgeous white curvy frames that you absolutely couldn’t obtain anywhere else (and lots of other things that you didn’t actually go there for…)
Step 3: Assembly
This is the complex part. Put the page you cut up earlier into the frame. I know, I wouldn’t have thought to do that either.
- Put the page in the frame
Step 4: Bask in the glory of your creativity
And seriously consider for a moment or two buying some singlets for your friend that has just had the baby, and keep the gorgeous artwork for yourself.
- The finished product
My psychologist said yesterday that the depressed mind has much in common with a demented mind. I certainly feel I am demented, but I think she actually meant the depressed brain is similar to a brain with dementia. Like what old people get. The different parts of the brain can’t talk to each other effectively, memory is affected, problem solving skills are primitive. This new way of thinking about my depression filter has certainly prompted me to re-examine how my mind is processing the signals going in. And so I present, My depressed mind: An outsider’s guide.
|| My depression tells me
|I hear “I’m not understanding you, I don’t think you understand what I mean”
||You’re thinking “You’re so stupid, why can’t you understand what I’m telling you? I can’t be bothered trying to understand you, you’re retarded”
|I hear “Can we just have something simple for tea?”
||You’re thinking I’m such a disappointment, because I can’t even be bothered to make a meal.
|I hear “I’ve decided I/we should…”
||You don’t care about my opinion, my thoughts and feelings aren’t valid and don’t matter.
|You can’t remember facts I’ve told you
||Things about me aren’t worth remembering, you don’t care enough to listen properly
|I hear “You got the time wrong”
||You think I’m a moron, untrustworthy, stupid.
|I’m sobbing in the presence of someone and that person doesn’t show concern
||I’m not worthy of care or concern, the person doesn’t care about me, I’m a burden.
|I can’t figure out what order to do tasks in to make a cup of tea
||It looks like I’m tired or lazy, but really I just can’t figure out how to do it. Scary.
|I’m communicating like an inarticulate teenager
||I can’t remember what I was trying to say, or I’ve forgotten the words that I need to use. Again, scary.
Some days it is easy for me to recognise the depressed thought for what it is, ridiculous, paranoid, self centred. Some days I feel so despaired I couldn’t possibly entertain the notion that it isn’t the truth.
Writing it down like this takes the power away from the thought, but also makes me feel ridiculous for thinking it in the first place. It was hard to hit the publish button today, but hopefully someone will identify with this, or it might help you understand why the person with depression in your life acts the way they do.
What does your black dog tell you?
Updated Feb 11 to fix spelling mistakes. Oh the beautiful irony of a blog post about a brain that doesn’t work properly peppered with stupid spelling errors LOL